The beginning of my not so unfortunate tale takes us back quite a few years to when I was but a toddler. Of course my memory is not perfect, but it went something like this.
“So what you’re saying is that Joan is actually considering not decorating her Laurel bushes this year for Flag Day? …”
Enough was enough, I had heard my mother yak for hours with a plethora of boring old ladies. How could anyone waste their time in such fruitless activity? As for myself, I was heading out, and I knew that it would take my mom minutes to notice my disappearance, I could do anything in minutes.
I slipped out the backdoor without tipping off my mom and I was off to explore the wonderful world of the backyard. It must have been at least a whole minute before before the rock path lost its luster and I suddenly realized that this whole adventure would be much more exciting if mom were chasing me. After realizing that my extremely realistic sounding growls were not getting her attention, I raised the stakes to the next level.
“Yippee! Rocks!” I whaled at the top of my lungs.
The backdoor suddenly slammed and I knew that the race had begun. I turned and ran as fast as I possibly could for my predetermined destination. I was headed for the old wooden staircase that led to the plank that crossed a clear 10 foot drop on all sides. After the wooden plank came the forbidden treehouse, I was not allowed to enter the sacred structure until I was at least four. The chase was on and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the prospect of beating mom to the treehouse. It was so exciting! I paused just long enough to revel in the thought that I had come up with this ingenious plan in less that 10 seconds.
A genius had been born.
I suppose the clumsiness that led to the terrible fall I experienced a few seconds later could have technically undone my status as a genius, as it had my future chances of becoming a circus performer, but I was tenacious, I was courageous and most of all I was intelligent.
“So what you’re saying is that Joan is actually considering not decorating her Laurel bushes this year for Flag Day? …”
Enough was enough, I had heard my mother yak for hours with a plethora of boring old ladies. How could anyone waste their time in such fruitless activity? As for myself, I was heading out, and I knew that it would take my mom minutes to notice my disappearance, I could do anything in minutes.
I slipped out the backdoor without tipping off my mom and I was off to explore the wonderful world of the backyard. It must have been at least a whole minute before before the rock path lost its luster and I suddenly realized that this whole adventure would be much more exciting if mom were chasing me. After realizing that my extremely realistic sounding growls were not getting her attention, I raised the stakes to the next level.
“Yippee! Rocks!” I whaled at the top of my lungs.
The backdoor suddenly slammed and I knew that the race had begun. I turned and ran as fast as I possibly could for my predetermined destination. I was headed for the old wooden staircase that led to the plank that crossed a clear 10 foot drop on all sides. After the wooden plank came the forbidden treehouse, I was not allowed to enter the sacred structure until I was at least four. The chase was on and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the prospect of beating mom to the treehouse. It was so exciting! I paused just long enough to revel in the thought that I had come up with this ingenious plan in less that 10 seconds.
A genius had been born.
I suppose the clumsiness that led to the terrible fall I experienced a few seconds later could have technically undone my status as a genius, as it had my future chances of becoming a circus performer, but I was tenacious, I was courageous and most of all I was intelligent.
5 comments:
hahahahahahaha oh boy I thoroughly enjoyed that, you big goober. This is Alex by the way.
You are so crazy!
And now this is Danelle.
Almost true story. The thing about mom on the phone talking endlessly is pretty much false. Genius - true, circus performer - still is one, pulling one over on mom, continually.
This reminds me so much of what must be going through the mind of my crazy two and a half year old ... wow is he fast and naughty, but always smiling.
I don't know why Bryan didn't create a blog a long time ago. I guarantee I will spend hours reading this blog. Again, thanks bry.
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