Car Tire

This morning the front tire on my car was flat. This fact of course has ruined the rest of my life, a crisis so despicable that I don’t know how to move forward with the rest of my perfect life. The morning began like every other morning, I had just dragged myself out of bed, eaten something that I found in the fridge, that I thought was a fruit (although it could have been some kind of meat), and headed out the door.


After having put my bag in the car I turned around in slow motion, my head moving even slower. My eyes eventually landed on the front tire of the car, and again in slow motion I let out a howl that would have even put my son Asher to shame. How can this be! I screamed as I fell to my knees. “ If life is just, why, why should this happen to me?”

Hearing the commotion a few of the neighbors came out in their robes. Nobody said anything, they didn’t have to. I knew just by looking at them that they were astonished and this injustice. Yes, their faces said, “that poor fellow, when will things ever go right? He has now hit rock bottom, I don’t know how he will ever recover from this blow.” My wife came running out, her hair looking like she had been through a tornado. At this moment I knew all hope was lost, for the neighbors now saw the horror I have been waking up to for the past 12 years.

“How could this happen?” Tiffany cried.

“ Oh wo is me,” I calmly stated.

Tiffany then began to scream like a squirrel before it is run over by a purple 1970 Monte Carlo.

“Tiffany, you must hold it together and give me the attention I deserve, for it is I that has been wronged.”

Needless to say the next five minutes seemed like an eternity as we sat there wondering what to do. Finally I said, “why don’t I just take the van today?”

“Wow, you never cease to amaze me with your wisdom.”

“Thanks.”

Once at work I had to go immediately to break because of the pressure that I was under, when finally Tiffany called me an hour later to comfort me and tell me that the car had been fixed. “ A lesser man would take a sick day,” Tiffany said.

“I know,” I said.