My chance to shine came frequently and often, but none more prevalent in my mind than a couple of years later when I was commissioned by my second grade teacher to enter an elite contest. I hate to brag and say that I stuck out as a protégée to my deep voiced, but loving teacher; however that is exactly what I did. In fact, to this day I always have a tendency to stick out when I am in a group of average people.
One of the many things that separated me from my peers was my mastery of the multiplication facts. If it hadn’t been for a suspiciously timed head cold I would have been the first to pass off all of my facts. To this day I remember my school lunch on Thursday tasting of arsenic. Friday I was confined to my bed with the suspicious head cold. Meanwhile at school that same morning Scott Burningham, the six foot, balding second grader stole the title of star memorizer (it wasn’t like we actually understood the concept of multiplication).
Whatever the reason, I was one of 25 students in my class selected to enter the elite contest, and I was determined not let Mrs. Hunington down. Mrs. Hunington started explaining the rules and the theme of the contest, all I needed to hear were the words, “you can choose to draw anything you want…” and I was off daydreaming of my beautiful picture. I was good at drawing gumball machines, so I was going to draw the biggest, most beautiful gumball machine that anyone had ever seen. Just think of all the pretty colors I could use on the gumballs!
For the next few days food had no taste, and sleep passed me by. During those days devoted to my masterpiece I stayed up until 9 and only ate 5 to 6 meals a day. I truly was a Michelangelo in the making. Halfway through my gumball machine my prying mom mentioned something about the theme of “freedom.” Being the helicopter parent that she was she suggested that I just write next to the gumball machine “The freedom to choose.”
“Okay, whatever Mom.” I knew better than to argue with her, it was always easier just to do whatever she wanted, because in her eyes she was always right. I use this same technique to this day not only with my mom, but with my wife as well. Not to say that the most important women in my life are nags, only that I revere their infinite, feminine wisdom.
As I sat on the stage as a winner of the elite contest I couldn’t help but be proud of my accomplishment. I had produced the finest replica of a gumball machine that had ever been created. I could tell that the sea of jealous parents were in envy of my guardians as not only the protectors of a future world-changing intellectual, but also as the curators of a future art museum.
Years later when I came home for college one day I noticed a blank wall where my masterpiece once hang. It was only then that my parents sat me down to explain that I did not win the contest on my artistic ability alone, but on my unparalleled ability to misspell. It was the phrase “Freedom to Chews” that the judges of the elite contest had been attracted to, not my stunning portrayal of a gigantic gumball machine sitting on the edge of a kitchen counter. I have since decided to retire as an aspiring artist and pursue more financially sound careers such as public education.
One of the many things that separated me from my peers was my mastery of the multiplication facts. If it hadn’t been for a suspiciously timed head cold I would have been the first to pass off all of my facts. To this day I remember my school lunch on Thursday tasting of arsenic. Friday I was confined to my bed with the suspicious head cold. Meanwhile at school that same morning Scott Burningham, the six foot, balding second grader stole the title of star memorizer (it wasn’t like we actually understood the concept of multiplication).
Whatever the reason, I was one of 25 students in my class selected to enter the elite contest, and I was determined not let Mrs. Hunington down. Mrs. Hunington started explaining the rules and the theme of the contest, all I needed to hear were the words, “you can choose to draw anything you want…” and I was off daydreaming of my beautiful picture. I was good at drawing gumball machines, so I was going to draw the biggest, most beautiful gumball machine that anyone had ever seen. Just think of all the pretty colors I could use on the gumballs!
For the next few days food had no taste, and sleep passed me by. During those days devoted to my masterpiece I stayed up until 9 and only ate 5 to 6 meals a day. I truly was a Michelangelo in the making. Halfway through my gumball machine my prying mom mentioned something about the theme of “freedom.” Being the helicopter parent that she was she suggested that I just write next to the gumball machine “The freedom to choose.”
“Okay, whatever Mom.” I knew better than to argue with her, it was always easier just to do whatever she wanted, because in her eyes she was always right. I use this same technique to this day not only with my mom, but with my wife as well. Not to say that the most important women in my life are nags, only that I revere their infinite, feminine wisdom.
As I sat on the stage as a winner of the elite contest I couldn’t help but be proud of my accomplishment. I had produced the finest replica of a gumball machine that had ever been created. I could tell that the sea of jealous parents were in envy of my guardians as not only the protectors of a future world-changing intellectual, but also as the curators of a future art museum.
Years later when I came home for college one day I noticed a blank wall where my masterpiece once hang. It was only then that my parents sat me down to explain that I did not win the contest on my artistic ability alone, but on my unparalleled ability to misspell. It was the phrase “Freedom to Chews” that the judges of the elite contest had been attracted to, not my stunning portrayal of a gigantic gumball machine sitting on the edge of a kitchen counter. I have since decided to retire as an aspiring artist and pursue more financially sound careers such as public education.
5 comments:
I don't know if you're writing this with the intent to publish, but I love your unique tone and take - using a anti-self-deprecating humor is very interesting.
My husband (like most Amercians) is writing a book and makes me edit for him; if you ever want someone to read through and mark for content, grammar, and clarity, it's one of my favorite things to do - just give me a thank-you in the book when your a famous author!
Maybe that's what drew us together...I won on the region level on year in my Reflections Contest. We are kindred spirits, you and I.
I hate to even mention this, and she would forgive me if she knew me...Do I know mrs. b. roth...?
Anyway, she may want to check her own grammar (your instead of you're).
As to your post, another gem, thanks. I have a similar reflections story about a short story I wrote about riding big mountain...
To Mrs.B
Thank you so much for your kind words. I started the blog as a journal for my kids and family. I just enjoy writing, it is a great stress reliever.
Yeah - isn't that how it always goes in life, offer your expertise and reveal your stupidity! ( I got it right that time:))
No, I saw that, but it was too late to grab it back ... *sigh, look at feet* I live irony ...
NEVERTHELESS - my enthusiasm overshadows my humble pie ... I still love these stories. Bryan, you have a great unique voice - thanks for letting your blog be public, even if you're writing for a personal audience (ha ha, that makes 4 yours and I think I used them all correctly ... see if I EVER make that mistake again.)
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